If I Had Done It
by Akira of the Twilight
Summary: -Two Shot SasuNaru- There's nothing quite like turning the tables on your enemy.
1. If I Had Done It

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did I would be living the life of luxury and since I don't see any butlers or maids around I clearly do not own it.

**Pairing**: SasuNaru because someone has to keep the fangirls going during this hard time.

If I had Done It

Naruto…

What could Sasuke possibly say about Naruto?

Well obviously the blond boy is loud and stupid but Sasuke knows the deeper side of Naruto too. He knows that Naruto loves ramen to the point of it being a sick obsession. Just the thought of Naruto's obsession could send Sasuke into a gagging fit, not that anyone besides Sasuke knew this.

Some people feel sad for others, Sasuke feels sick for others.

Sasuke also knows that Naruto's second love is an annoying pink haired girl by the name of Sakura. If it weren't for her being one of Sasuke's fangirls Sasuke would probably see her as one of the few people in the world that weren't labeled as "annoying" but her chances of that were ruined the day he saw little pink hearts in her eyes.

How do girls do it? Sasuke had taken many years of science but he still could not figure out how it was physically possible for a girl's eyes to change shape like that. He couldn't even figure out how Rock Lee managed to create pink heart bubbles out of thin air. It just didn't make any sense.

Anyway… back on topic.

There was a lot Sasuke could say about Naruto but a lot of it wasn't positive except for one thing:

That annoying, loud, stupid, dead last, ramen obsessed, naïve, simple, relentless, nerve wrecking, troublesome, tiring, hopeless, incompetent, oblivious, blunt, weak, oversensitive, emotionally unstable, foolish, over trusting, dense, nosy, incapable, unbelievable, blond, moron had somehow managed to make Sasuke like him. Really _like_ him. Like "_like like_" him but with more hormones involved and crazy dreams and all the fun stuff that teenagers go through.

Damn Naruto! May all the ramen of the world disappear and leave Naruto starving!

Sasuke kicked a stone as he walked through Konoha.

People would stop and stare at him, which tempted Sasuke to show off some of his fire jutsu. Why didn't people understand body language? You would think in a village of shinobi people would be able to tell by the fact that his hands were shoved into his pants pockets, with his head lowered and his lips set in frown that he was pissed off and wanted to be alone.

But of course he would never be so lucky as to be able to walk down a street without people staring at him.

Why did his luck suck?

It had to be Naruto! Naruto always has the luck! Naruto must somehow be able to steal the luck out of those around him and use it to his advantage.

Sasuke sighed.

He sounded like he was going crazy, which couldn't be good considering what happened with Itachi and the whole massacre of the clan thing.

Nope. Thinking like a crazy person would not help him now.

"Teme!"

_Itachi damn it_! Sasuke mentally cursed.

Sasuke looked up, maintaining a look of nonchalance when all he wanted to do was grit his teeth, clench his fists, and throw a temper tantrum.

It wasn't fair! Why did crappy stuff always happen to him?

Far off in the crowd, running toward him was the village idiot, aka Naruto, and the idiot was looking beyond furious.

Hmm.

Furious Naruto, plus, Naruto running towards him, equals… Naruto is once again blaming Sasuke for something.

Sasuke wished he wasn't above eye rolling because he really wanted to do it now.

How was it Naruto always managed to find a way to blame Sasuke for everything? Granted, Sasuke always proved Naruto wrong on his assumptions but still! How did Naruto come up with these connections in his head? It's almost as if Naruto were a schizophrenic.

Wait… Maybe Naruto– No! Sasuke would not allow himself to make such judgments about his teammate.

…

Although…

No! Naruto was in no way, shape, or form a schizophrenic!

…At least not until some test are taken to prove otherwise.

"TEME!" Naruto screamed and parted the sea of people with the sheer volume of his voice.

Great now everyone was looking at Sasuke _and _Naruto. Why couldn't Naruto act like a normal person and calmly pull Sasuke over to a secluded spot to–

Oh dear, and holy massacre of the Uchiha clan! Thank Itachi that Naruto hadn't pulled him aside to a private and secluded area. Sasuke knew what happened to teenagers when left alone! The most ridiculous things would happen that would lead to racing hormones and underage sex that could be seen as rape!

With Sasuke's current… "_feelings_" for Naruto it would be best not to tempt fate.

"You asshole!" Naruto cried and waved a tan piece of paper over his head as he made his last few stomps towards Sasuke. The two of them were only separated by two feet. Even at such a short distance Sasuke couldn't read the dark scribbles written on the paper but he had a feeling Naruto would tell him the contents of the paper soon enough.

Lowering the paper so it was only inches from Sasuke's face Naruto yelled, "You jerk! Don't toy with my feelings by sending me fake love letters from Sakura! Did you really think I would fall for this? This isn't even her handwriting! I thought I could trust you, Teme, but you're nothing but an arrogant bastard!"

As Naruto's rant continued Sasuke tuned the blond out and let his eyes scan the letter. Naruto wasn't lying when he said the handwriting didn't belong to Sakura. In fact the handwriting looked like….

Sasuke smirked as he recognized the owner of the letter's penmanship.

He scanned the lines of the letter. Each line talked about what "Sakura" was hoping to do with Naruto, such as: hold hands, hug, spend time together, and hopefully kiss.

It was all very shy and innocent sounding.

Sasuke felt like a predator who had just caught his prey. This was exactly what he needed to relieve some stress: a way to express his torturous feelings without the risk of having them thrown back at him, and there was the extra added bonus of messing with Naruto's head.

He ripped the letter from Naruto's hands and feigned annoyance as he glared between it and Naruto, who had finally stopped complaining.

Scanning the crowded street for a place to talk to Naruto, Sasuke spotted an empty park.

Perfect.

Tilting his head towards the direction of the park Sasuke gave a small grunt to tell Naruto to follow him as he made his way to the deserted place.

Forget what he said earlier about secluded places being bad, secluded places were perfect in every way possible.

"What's your problem Teme! Tell me what're planning! I know you wrote this letter and–"

Naruto gulped as Sasuke spun around to face him. The two of them were alone and while normally that wouldn't bother Naruto the smirk decorating Sasuke's face had him nervous.

"Naruto," Sasuke began, letting his voice sound silky, soft, and sweet. The tone of voice clearly put Naruto on edge more and Sasuke had to control the urge to laugh maniacally. "I did not write this letter," he said as he held the letter out in front of him.

"Yeah right!" Naruto interjected.

Sasuke shook his head in amusement. So Naruto was still going to play dumb was he? That made things all the better for Sasuke. "Naruto, if I wanted to trick you into thinking that Sakura sent you a letter the handwriting would be flawless, you would never be able to tell that Sakura hadn't written the letter herself. My sharingan would allow me to copy her penmanship perfectly."

Naruto's confident and angry expression seemed to falter at this. However seconds later the anger was back. "Oh yeah? How do I know you didn't copy her handwriting perfectly on purpose?"

This was delicious. Naruto didn't even see the trap Sasuke had set for him.

Sasuke took a step closer to Naruto, never losing an ounce of confidence on his face. "Because _Naruto_," Sasuke dragged the name of his prey out for dramatic effect. "If I had written this letter it would not be filled with the same content that is mentioned on it."

"Wha- What?" Naruto stuttered. A tiny tint of red was beginning to show on Naruto's cheeks and Sasuke knew his teammate had caught on to his implication but had yet to accept it. With this in mind Sasuke took another step towards Naruto, who took a step back.

"If I had written this letter _Naruto_," Sasuke drew out the name again, this time earning a sheepish wince from his victim, "Your entire body would have turned red from an array of different emotions." Sasuke took another step forward and Naruto took another step back.

Never would Sasuke use the word "cute" to describe Naruto, but as his teammate inched further away from him Sasuke was reminded of a wounded and scared animal. This vulnerable side appealed to Sasuke.

As Naruto tried to take another step away from him Sasuke reacted without thinking. He grabbed Naruto and pulled him into a dark and possessive embrace. With one hand wrapped around Naruto's waist and the other placed tightly on the back of Naruto's throat Sasuke let his breath tickle the inside of Naruto's ear.

Sasuke could hear Naruto's panicking heart pounding and he chuckled dryly.

"No," Sasuke laughed, "if I had done it you would never be the same again. I would tell you how perfect our bodies would fit together. How it would feel with me straddling you and how no matter how many times we became one it would never be satisfying enough. You'd desire me as much as I desire you. The heat and passion would be felt by all but understood by only you and me. Even a simple gesture like a kiss would have so much passion behind it that it would leave all who see breathless and hot. Trust me Naruto, if I had wrote that letter you would have been unable to come to me so quickly because you would have had to deal with other _matters_," Sasuke left the word hanging in the air, letting Naruto catch onto its hidden meaning.

The red tint from Naruto's cheeks grew and spread to the tips of his ears.

Sasuke watched this with amused eyes, and had to stop himself from laughing when Naruto began to struggle in his hold.

Giving Naruto's neck a gentle squeeze he earned a surprised squeak from the blond and for a moment Naruto was too startled to struggle.

"Those graphic magazines that you like to look at would be nothing compared to what I would write. If you were to someday read one of Kakashi sensei's books you'd find them boring and dull. Nothing would ever be able to make you feel the way my letter would and you'd never want anything else to. Do you wish to know why?"

Numbly, as if in a trance, Naruto nodded his head.

Letting go of his hold on Naruto, Sasuke smirked as he took a step back. "Because you are a complete moron."

Sasuke watched with delight as Naruto's eyes, which had hazed over, began to become clear and alert. The two blue sparkling eyes blinked repeatedly and took on a look of confusion.

Sasuke laughed and before Naruto could register on what had just happened he disappeared from Naruto's vision.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Naruto couldn't stop blushing as he made his way to the meeting spot.

What was he going to tell Kiba? This was not how the plan was supposed to go. Sasuke wasn't supposed to act that way.

"Why did he act that way?" Naruto asked himself aloud.

"What way?"

Naruto jumped at Kiba's voice coming from behind him and spun to face the other boy.

Seeing Kiba staring at him Naruto blushed. He couldn't tell Kiba what had happened between him and Sasuke. He didn't even know what had happened.

"I think Sasuke found out the letter was a set up to make him look like a jerk."

Kiba rolled his eyes heavenward. "You know that wouldn't have happened if you had let me write the letter instead. I've copied other people's handwriting before so Sasuke probably wouldn't have noticed the difference."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest but held back as he remembered the possessive embrace Sasuke had held him in.

Shaking his head Naruto frowned. "Sasuke would have known it was you, and I think Sasuke would have killed you if he thought there was the slightest chance that you had feelings for me."

"What?" Kiba scrunched up his face in confusion and distaste. "Why would he think that? And why would he care for that matter?"

Naruto shook his head. "Just don't ask. Sasuke is Sasuke. He's weird and cannot be understood."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Thanks to everyone that read. Please let me know what you think. I like how this fanfic went but I feel very mixed about what Sasuke said and I'd like to hear what some people thought.


	2. What You Did

Chapter 2

What You Did

Everything is confusing. 

Not_was_ –is. Everything _is _confusing and Naruto can do nothing to fix it. 

What could he do? It would be weird and very uncomfortable to confront Sasuke about … well –did Naruto really have to say it? 

Sigh.

The letter. That stupid letter that was supposed to be a prank got him into this mess. 

Stupid Sasuke. Stupid Teme. Saying all those stupid embarrassing things that made Naruto feel hot and well…

Self-conscious! Since when was Naruto self-conscious? It didn't make any sense. 

Sasuke didn't make any sense. 

Naruto let his graze travel to his side where Sasuke was leaning casually against the edge of the bridge. Not far from Sasuke was Sakura who was sitting cross-legged as the three of them waited for Kakashi sensei. 

Honestly! How could Sasuke be so calm and casual after … _that_! Maybe Naruto was wrong but hadn't Sasuke basically had sex talk with Naruto right then? Who the heck has sex talk with somebody and then treats that somebody like a nobody afterwards? A prick –that's who!

Stupid Sasuke. 

Oh ramen! How Naruto wanted to pout. He wanted to act like a five-year-old and scream and pout and throw a tantrum until Sasuke finally started acting like a normal person would. 

Naruto mentally sighed in defeat. Who was he kidding? Sasuke, acting like a normal person? The third Hokage would come back to life, Orochimaru would no longer be a pedophile, and Itachi would be saint before that would happen. Sasuke has mental issues and nothing on earth would change that. 

Guess that means an alien invasion would be the only thing to change Sasuke into a normal person, and even then it was questionable. 

Sasuke cleared his throat and glared out from the corner of his eyes at Naruto. 

_Oh shit!_ Naruto cursed mentally as he swiftly turned his head so he was no longer looking at Sasuke. 

How many times was that now that Sasuke had managed to catch Naruto staring at him. Ten? No that was how many the day after the letter incident. A hundred? No, Naruto distinctively remembered slapping himself across the face after Sasuke caught him staring for the two-hundredth time, so it was definitely more than a hundred. 

Oh dear precious ramen! It couldn't be!

Naruto felt the blood drain from his face as the number flashed in his head. He had been caught three thousand seven hundred and forty-two times! 

He was officially a stalker now. 

Naruto could feel Sasuke's superior smirk burring itself deep into his head. 

The jerk knew. The jerk had been keeping track of how many times Naruto had been staring at him. 

Naruto gulped. 

He didn't know how or why he felt this way, but suddenly he felt like a cute little bunny rabbit frolicking in a meadow with a hungry snake, A.K.A. Sasuke, prowling close by, waiting for a chance to strike. 

There was a burst of smoke. 

Naruto's shriek of terror prevented him from hearing the cheerful "hello" that sounded like it was being said by Kakashi sensei. He threw his body to the side, far away from Sasuke. His butt collided with the hard stone ground but Naruto ignored it in favor of propping himself up on his arms so that he could take off again if necessary.

Naruto never had a chance to move because by the time he had propped himself up the smoke had cleared and his two teammates and Kakashi sensei were staring down at him in utter confusion (though Sasuke's confusion seemed a bit fake with a hint of smugness).

Naruto blushed and grinned sheepishly. "You're late!" Naruto said to Kakashi sensei with laughter in his voice. 

Naruto knew his comrades were not buying his fake cheerfulness. 

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

"Are you sick?"

_Sick in the head_, was Naruto's mental response to Sakura's question. 

He shrugged to answer the girl's question. He didn't want to focus on what was wrong with him. He'd rather enjoy Sakura's company as she walked him home. 

The evening was beautiful. Never had Naruto really taken the time to notice how pretty the clouds looked when painted with purple, pink, and orange hues. The calmness of the world around him was ethereal as the day slowly faded away to night and somehow all of his problems seemed to fade away. Sasuke was a distant memory for the moment. 

"You're quiet," Sakura stated. "You must be sick."

Naruto sighed. Yeah, he was sick, but with what he did not know. Sasuke had really messed with his mind. 

"Tell me about it," Sakura demanded in soft friendly voice. She encouraged Naruto by bumping shoulders with him gentlely and the contact made Naruto smile. 

But the perspective of having to think about Sasuke made him frown. 

"If you are not going to tell me then I am going to assume Sasuke did something to you," Sakura said and Naruto felt his breath get caught in his throat. He stopped walking. His feet were frozen to the ground and after taking three steps Sakura noticed that he was no longer following her. 

Sakura smiled, and it was a beautiful, compassionate smile. "I figured as much. You two are always messing around with each other. It makes me jealous." Sakura's smile dimmed for a bit but then it lit up again as she went on. "I don't know what Sasuke did but if I know you two well enough I would assume that he is waiting for you to make the next move." 

"But what's the next move!" Naruto cried out in desperation and Sakura flinched. 

Seeing reaction he had caused his friend Naruto tried to breath and calm down. It would do him no good to make Sakura more concerned than she already was. 

But what was it? What was the next move?

Was Sasuke joking or was he being serious? 

"_Nothing would ever be able to make you feel the way my letter would and you'd never want anything else to." _

What did that mean? 

"_Do you wish to know why?"_

Yes. 

"_Because you are a complete moron."_

Naruto felt a piece of his heart ache at the insult. 

But the next thought that filled his mind hit Naruto like a lightening bolt. 

A smirk tugged at Naruto's lips. 

"I know what to do." 

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

His target was in sight and alone. 

Perfect. 

Naruto smirked. He finally understood why Sasuke smirked so much. The expression didn't just make people who saw it feel inferior but it made the one wearing it feel confident and unbeatable. 

Sasuke wouldn't be wearing a smirk after Naruto was through with him. 

Sasuke was standing on a bridge that overlooked a lake in Konoha. His eyes were narrowed in deep thought with a frown on his lips as if what he was thinking about was painful. It almost made Naruto change his mind about what he was going to do. 

_Almost_.

Practically skipping Naruto rushed towards Sasuke, grinning like a maniac all the while. Any other day Naruto would ponder why Sasuke, one of the most skilled shinobi in Konoha, didn't notice his approach. However the excitement of getting Sasuke back for humiliating him was too sweet to allow any wandering thoughts interrupt his joy. 

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried seconds after he had launched himself at Sasuke. With no time to react Sasuke was his. 

"NARUTO!" Was the surprised and angry response Naruto received as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's upper body. Naruto had caught Sasuke in a side "hug" and there was no escaping for the Uchiha. Sasuke arms were pinned to his side and all he could do was turn his head to the side to glare heatedly at Naruto. 

A bead of sweat ran down the side of Naruto's forehead. 

Maybe he should have thought this through more? 

Naruto shrugged. No turning back now. 

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried cheerfully. He enjoyed watching the Uchiha flinch at the sound of his high-pitched voice. It was obvious to everyone watching (which was no one) that the Uchiha was uncomfortable. 

Mischievous joy rushed through Naruto's body. If Sasuke thought he was uncomfortable now he was going to be in for a surprise. 

"You suck Sasuke," Naruto said, keeping his tone sweet and playful. To add to the affect (and make Sasuke feel more uncomfortable) Naruto buried his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck and started rubbing his head against the tender area. 

Naruto could feel Sasuke stiffen at the contact and Naruto cheered inside. As much as he enjoyed making Sasuke uncomfortable Naruto had to admit that his actions were making him uneasy as well. If someone saw what he was doing to Sasuke then he would never live it down. 

"You shouldn't tease me," Naruto continued with a scolding tone. "You talk about writing me a letter that would be unlike any other and then you call me a moron and run off. I'm starting to think you're all talk. As if you could write a letter that great."

Naruto made sure his voice sounded challenging yet at the same time bored, as if he wasn't afraid of what Sasuke might do. 

Sasuke scoffed. Suddenly the Uchiha didn't feel so stiff in his arms and Naruto felt a shiver of worry go down his spine. Was Sasuke going to hurt him now?

"I promise you, I could write that letter easily," Sasuke said confidently. 

"Really?" Naruto feigned interest but inside he was screaming. He felt like he was going to be sick. His plan had seemed so good seconds ago but he was starting to doubt himself. What if he screwed up and Sasuke decided to kill him in his sleep. He couldn't die yet! Not when a new flavor of ramen could be made at any moment!

Sasuke smirked. "Yes, really."

"Well then…," Naruto wished he felt as confident as his voice sounded. His voice sounded very grown up and mature but inside he was a five year old kid looking for his security blanket. "… if you can write it then do so, and …."

_Here it comes_, Naruto thought with dread. He was either going to regret this or pull the best prank ever on Sasuke. 

"…I'll help you out by giving you some inspiration." Without warning Naruto tilted his head up and captured Sasuke's lips with his own. 

It didn't seem like anything special at first –just two people's lips making contact and then the little butterflies that had taken over Naruto's stomach floated to his lips and made them tingle. 

It was like a spark or something. Naruto couldn't quite put words to the feeling but it was nice and made his lips feel like they did when he was humming. It was really soothing. 

Naruto pulled back and forced a blush down as he released Sasuke from his hold. 

For the first time in his life Naruto saw Sasuke speechless and it wasn't as funny as he had expected. 

Naruto frowned. It was supposed to funny –not nice. 

"So write me that damn letter!" Naruto commanded and spun on his heels. 

He ran as far away from Sasuke as he could and as fast as possible. 

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Naruto stared at the white envelope in his hand. 

It was barely past dawn but the sound of rustling outside his apartment door had woken him up. By the time Naruto had reached his door the rustling sound had stopped and a white envelope was lying peacefully underneath the door. 

Naruto gulped and flipped the envelope over to the side where the envelope was sealed. Written in neat handwriting was Naruto's name.

Naruto could recognize that handwriting anywhere; it was Sasuke's. 

Taking a deep breath Naruto tore the top of the letter open and pulled out its contents. 

The only thing inside the envelope was a small, folded piece of paper that must have been only a few centimeters long. The size of the sheet of paper confused Naruto.

How could Sasuke fulfill his promise of writing such a great letter with so little room to write on? 

Unfolding the paper, Naruto dropped it almost instantly and blushed. 

Eleven letters decorated the paper. 

_Nice kiss Dobe. I'll be glad to help you improve it. _

As strange as it sounded, Naruto knew that while it may not seem like it now those words were going to fulfill the promise Sasuke made.

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed the second chapter of "If I Had Done It". This was originally a one-shot but I got quite a few people saying that they felt the first chapter left the reader hanging and they wanted to know Naruto's point of view. 

On a side note, I do plan on making a real multi-chapter story, hopefully, soon (Soon being more than a month but less than two). So if anyone cares I will probably put a summary of what I hope to accomplish in the story on my profile.

Thank you for reading. You guys make me so happy. 


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